as these I was endeavouringendeavourto console myself , as I ploddedplodhome from the fields , one cold , damp , cloudy evening towards the close of October .
But the gleam of a bright red firefirethrough the parlour window had more effect in cheeringcheermy spirits , and rebukingrebukemy thankless repinings , than all the sage reflectionsreflectionand good resolutionsresolutionI had forcedforcemy mind to frame ; — for I was young then , remember — only four-and-twenty — and had not acquired half the rule over my own spirit that I now possess — trifling as that may be .